LOVE ACROSS BBM

Adeolu C. Alupogun-Iran

It was on Tade’s birthday and we all sat together after round of beating and water bathing. This has been customary to such occasions among us. We all settled into the couch anticipating who will come with the first package among his numerous admirers and three girlfriends. While waiting, we teased him about a fight that is likely to ensue, turning his well set living room into a boxing ring when they all show up and this made him almost laugh his heart out.

Moment of silence followed afterwards as a ping came in, Tade picked up his Blackberry device to check who joined the list of well wishers on his gracious day. He read quietly while we waited anxiously, expecting him to take the usual route of reading it out to us but he didn’t. He just smiled and dropped the device. Obviously we were agitated at this strange turn; Tade noticed but simply ignored it. ‘There won’t be a sacred cow around here today’ Bosun said. Martins picked up the device and we all tucked to read as well as confirm who the sender was.

Yinka has been a good friend of Tade for a long time; in fact they were at the same university, an opportunity which really fine-tuned their friendship. Often times, he has reiterated that whatever transpired between them was no business of ours and we have always respected that. This explained why he had acted the way he did. Quietly, we let go of the BlackBerry device and swallowed every word we were tempted to say. Before we resettle to our ‘waiting’ mission, Martins cleared his throat in a mischievous manner and we all looked at him. ‘Tade can I have Yinka’s pin please?’ he said. We were all dazzled! Martins had not met Yinka before but he has heard a great deal about her. We all knew what it was about, so, everyone kept mute; “I would have to ask her” Tade replied. “Fare enough” he said reclaiming his previous position.

The door bell buzzed and we all dashed across the door like kids expecting Santa. The drama is nothing expected of full grown adults like us, but mind you, it was Tade’s birthday and we were signed up for real fun no matter how childish. Finally, we agreed that I get the door while the others hide behind the couch and door. At the door was beautiful Claire, who obviously has been wondering what the drama was about.  She was about asking me where her dear Tade was, when he popped up behind the couch and just like whirlwind she was well wrapped around him in embrace. “Happy birthday dearie!” she said in a bed room voice. And of course! She did bring the first package.

Moment later Tade emerged from the room with the good news. Yinka approved I shared her pin with you, he said.”Thank you”, Martins responded with a smile. For a short while we lost Martins to Yinka as the duo locked horns on BBM. He often laughed and screamed while the tittle-tattle lasted. Martins indeed found a company with Yinka. This to me was very impressive.

The sound of the door bell startled us. The expression on our faces were chaotic, none of us attempted to get the door this time. Unfortunately, Claire surfaced and was at the door. Until then did it dawn on us that the unavoidable is about to happen. Within me I thought in Yoruba- ibi to ba le la ti ma ba omokunrin. Tade had obviously been unsettled, but a glance at me restored calm to his face. “The master must be prepared at all times”, he said in a whispering voice.

As soon as the door opened, Adeola cropped up with a hilarious scream ignoring every one of us including Claire the ‘doorman’. She hugged and kissed Tade, Bosun could hardly resist the temptation not to talk anymore and he said “hmm…just like one of the Nollywood movie scenes”. We could not but laugh, surprisingly Claire did too! Adeola wouldn’t have stopped if that did not happen. She left Tade to give us bare hugs while she cast a ridiculous glance on Claire. But Claire in her cultured manner ignored her and went in. There was a long pause. Tade excused himself and closed the right eye indicating “code yellow”. We understood perfectly, so with calculated precisions we managed Adeola while Tade attended to Claire in the room.

Just when we thought we had prevented the looming danger. Folakemi made entrance, barging in on us like when NEPA ceased power without warning. She greeted us warmly and dropped her package on the dining table. She was about reverting to us when she overheard the whispering from the room, she decided against it and headed straight to the bedroom. Without wasting time Martins pursed but he was too late. Before he could catch up, Folakemi had descended on Claire like a rushing water fall. Just before Tade or Martins could wrestle Claire off the ravaging Folakemi she was done with her victim.

With a swift turn she slapped both Tade and Martins. Though, Martins was at the receiving end because he wanted to hold her hand. Hmm…while we rushed in from the living room we left Adeola behind, who sat glued to the couch. We never knew she gave us a long rope to pull. We were still hovering over Claire who had just been bartered. Suddenly, the sound from the living room was more forceful than the last hurricane sandy that hit the US soil.

By the time we arrived, the well set living room had indeed been turned into a boxing ring. The two ladies were on the floor beating themselves blue-black. We all looked at Tade who obviously appeared like a person from a heavy rain, “indeed the master had been caught off guard” I said unconsciously. Adeola pounded Folakemi real good and we all watched to our delight. We only intervened when Folakemi attempted to employ the nearby stool. Preventing any lost of live. That certainly we cannot afford. Tade had met the duo through the BBM six and eight months ago. He did ask them out even before they agreed to meet.

The ugly incident had robbed us of our energy and sense of time. We never knew our guests for the birthday party had arrived. They all gathered outside in twos, threes and perhaps more wandering what was going on in there. It was way too embarrassing for us all. Tade out of fury threw both Adeola and Folakemi out, warning them vehemently never to return. Would the party still hold? This question disturbed my mind. My word bank seemed empty and I sat dejected, trying to forge ahead. Before I could finish booting, Tade was on his way out and we all followed him. We had no idea what would happen. We were face to face with people who had come with load of expectations; perhaps thought Saturday night will rock. Those expectations were certainly cut short as Tade announced the cancellation of the party without any emotion.

There was a long stand still; none of us knew where to start from. We sat looking like morons. The sound of a car about parking outside brought us back to life and we all gathered to check who would emerged from the car. Alas, it was Isabel the Minister’s daughter who was bent on dating Tade. We all clasped our heads definitely resigning to the unfortunate fate that marked the day. She was in company of two other ladies all looking radiant and party ready. Tade took Claire in while we attended to our guests. Isabel bounced in; we exchanged pleasantries with wide eyes. “What’s happening here? Where is the party? What are you guys doing at home? And where is my dear Tade?” I replied, “Which of these questions do you want answered first?” “Tade is not in and party cancelled”, Martins said in low voice. “Oh shit! Why didn’t Tade tell me?” She stormed out of the flat with her entourage in anger. Relief was what we all felt.

We spent the remaining part of the night persuading and apologizing to Claire. She was determined to bow out of the relationship with Tade but for the good will of his friends, she decided against it. It was indeed a dark day for Master Tade.                                                                                                                                                                        …to be continued

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About baldpen

Geniuses are born and could be made only through dint of diligence and hard-work. Some bards are sung while some are studied and some lived beyond their time. I want to be known for my lines...

Posted on December 6, 2012, in SHORT STORIES. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. BALOGUN TEMITOPE

    This is quite interesting and its basically wat is happening in our social world today….. Wat BB will cause even the manufacturers won’t be able to handle it…. Can’t wait for the continuation

  2. This is an award-winning piece! I like the drama and diction. E.g. ‘…while the tittle-tattle lasted.’ ‘My word bank seemed empty…’ etc.

  3. Dis 1 is not love across bbm oo, its catastrophe across bbm. All d same its quite interesting nd attention captivating, luv d story line nd I pray @ d end of d whole story Tade gets his fair share of suffering. Can’t wa8 2 read d rest

  4. 9ce story, attention captivating, folakemi nd adeola r quite stupid oo am sorry 2 say, hw can u accept 2 date a guy u jst met on a social network with out reasonable amount of physical quality tym, anyway dey got wat dey deserved. Bt I really hope karma catches up wit tade real soon, I so hate d player tin, it sucks, don’t gv wat u can’t take #WORD!

  5. Great Work here Sir..

  6. Nonso Eresimadu

    Hmmm!Quite a story!Very factual and hilarious at the same time.Way to go!

  7. Wow! Beautiful piece,well composed . Didnt know when I got to d last paragraph. What an interesting story.

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